underattacker – panicstarterdesigner, programmer, lover.

i know this one’s late. sorry! i’m a busy man!

i think a lot of people are expecting something special from this one. some people might expect this one to be all about one person, but because of my current situation, i will just generalize it for you.

i love crushes. i love the drama that i can feed from them. i love the thrill of them finding out. i don’t know why, i just do. i guess that’s why i tend to tell too many people. i love how they make me feel on top of the world. i love how they push me to be a better person. a better dresser. a better servant. a better pioneer. a better friend. a better son. a better everything. the best times of my life certainly involved a crush in some way or another. this is because emotions are the best way to control a person. and if you knew me well, you would know that i’m probably a pretty good example of the fact that emotions can last for several moments or even several years.

on the other hand, emotions cause people to behave a certain way. it’s a direct result of that emotional state. emotions cause people to sometimes behave stupidly. they cause people to hurt the ones they love. sometimes they even cause people to do stupid things. and therein lies the point i wanted to make. the very thing that can make me feel like i’m on top of the world can also make me the absolute worst i can be. but that’s life. that’s why it’s just a crush. it’s a thing i’ve grown accustomed to. it’s a sort of feeling that gets pounded into your head every time it happens. the sort of feeling that changes you a little bit.

this time around, the changes aren’t so bad. it’s sort of brought out some aspects of the old me that i don’t mind dealing with. there are some bad ones, though. and i’m going to feel a little sorry for those people who have something coming to them.

perfect. another thing to obsess over. especially something that requires more detail/paint work compared to gundams/munnys/diy toys. T_T

i’m the hero from the start. i don’t need to be saved.

i don’t really consider myself to have an a best friend of any sorts, but if i did, it would probably be you. i think it’s safe to say we pretty much grew up together. through thick and thin, dealing with all of the cholos and chollas in our school career, the video game sessions we’d have every day after school, we had some real fun times.

we’re no benny/aleone. we’re no radori. we’re no illum1nation. but what we have is good. i don’t recall a time where we’ve had an argument or fight. i think, in this case, opposites attract. and it works. we may not hang out as much as we used to when we were younger, but i guess part of that is because we’re simply getting old and with all of the responsibilities we each have, it’s understandable.

i feel like they’re getting wasted these days.

totally doing this…tomorrow

Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

1. some random bandai model kit that looked pretty
2. 3x dunny “ye old english” series blindboxes
3. autographed david choe munko blindbox
4. 2x dunny blindboxes (forgot the series)
5. futurama blindbox
6. evangelion blindbox
7. omi DIY figure
8. omi comic con exclusive painted figure
9. ugly doll series 1 blindbox set
10. david choe exclusive keychain
11. random dunny my brother found and gave to me
12. 2x appleseed ex machina blindboxes
13. evangelion figure
14. 1/50 exclusive skullhead figure, resin cast. got the 1st one out of production! XD

i love how i’ve been telling everyone to get their tickets early. week after week of reminders. but nooooooooo

i do this kinda thing all the time. and by all the time, i mean rarely. and by rarely, i mean never.